Feb. 26, 2003
My friends,
Normally I do not talk about my private life, even to those somewhat
close to me. I'm usually the type of person that would rather keep personal
things to myself. But tonight I must write, I must vent, I must prepare.
Today my father has been diagnosed with cancer. I am not sure if it's
terminal or not, but it is, indeed, a devastating blow none the less. It might
possibly be operable, but since the cancer has spread to his liver the chances
aren't as positive as one would like them to be. Still, I must remain optimistic
and hope that the doctors can help him and keep his quality of life as
comfortable as possible.
He has agreed to short-term chemotherapy if it will help his liver,
but has refused long-term chemo, and I completely understand. I watched my
grandmother die of cancer of the liver and how that, on top of chemo, can really
break someone down into a state of utter nothingness. I'd rather die from the
cancer alone than go through what she did. It was too unbearable to even think
about, let alone describe.
So my friends, if you pray to a god or a goddess, throw in a mention
for him please. Send positive thoughts if you can. I may not believe in gods or
goddesses, but positive energy is positive energy regardless of where it comes
from or how it is manifested.
And if you are someone who can not stand me or feels the need to save
my soul, do me a favor and pray for him instead. He needs your kindness far more
than I do right now.
As for me, I will be having some wine and spending time with my mom,
because she really needs the support right now. And don't worry ... I will be
fine. I don't need a god or anything supernatural to cling onto to get me
through this. I have myself. And myself is enough.
Thank you for listening. Have a good evening.
.
A.D.
