Diary of an Atheist

Oct. 03, 2003

Anal sex is a touchy subject for a lot of people. Amazingly some people refuse to even discuss the subject. Many times they will cite responses such as "Ass sex is for queers!" and things of that nature. Well if this is true, then color me gay, because I love anal sex. To me, there is nothing better than making love to a woman in this way. It's intense, it's tight, it's personal, and it's deeply erotic. And it can be for both partners. In fact, if it isn't a wonderful experience for both individuals, I refuse to do it. What's the point in hurting someone you care about? What's the point of hurting someone who's giving you a rare experience like this? It's not something that every guy will get, and if you mess this up, bud, that orifice will turn back into "exit only" faster than a humming bird blinks.

Now I know there's a wider community than just women who receive anal sex. There's some in the gay male community that practice anal sex, as well as some straight males who enjoy having sex with a partner that sometimes wears a strap on dildo. Some advice I give here may be helpful to you guys as well, but for the most part I will be focusing on anal sex with women being recipient, since it's what I am most experienced at in the anal department.

My experience comes mostly first hand; trial and error as I grew up, so to speak. I learned some hints by watching many many an anal porn flick, especially the earlier works of Ron Jeremy, as well as venturing to many sex shops and shopping for what works best for lube. I've also researched lube preferences with many women, both physically and in verbal discussions. Some women like KY Jelly. Some prefer massage oil (not the kind that heats up). Some prefer natural lube from the vagina. Some only want spit. There are many forms of lubrication out there, some you may not even be aware of using. Hell, I've used cooking oil before! And I have also heard that one of Jasmine St. Claire's favorite lubes is virgin olive oil. So the lube department runs the gamut on possibilities. The best thing to stress is to take things slow and experiment with different kinds of lube and positions. If one doesn't work, try another one.

By the way, with all this information, it may not come as a big surprise that my friends have dubbed me The Ass Master. And after you continue reading, I'm sure you will see why. I must also stress that, although knowledgeable of many of these details, I have not been with an extraordinary amount of women, anally. I have actually had sex with more women in other ways ? oral, vaginal, etc ? more often than I have with anal sex. But anal sex will always be my avenue of choice. And my success rate for anal, with women who didn't like it before me, women who loved it, and women who were anal virgins, has been about 95% positive.

There have been many women who have said to me that they have been with a guy, or guys, who ruined them on anal sex. I must stress up front that there are a BIJILLION WRONG WAYS to do it and only a few right ones. I will lay out some of the unwritten rules, and a few personal tips, that I have discovered during successful anal intercourse (in no particular order):

First of all, ladies, let's get the negatives out of the way. ALWAYS keep in mind that it's your ass. You are in control. Don't let any guy tell you, or treat you, different. If it hurts, if you don't like it, the anal sex stops. Period. End of story. If he doesn't stop after you request him to do so, it's rape and he can be arrested.
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I hate to interject this kind of a downer in what could be a very positive learning experience for you, but I have run into many women who have had guys force it in, start pumping away, and ignore the woman's cries of pain and pleas to stop. It bothers me to no end that a man would do this to a woman, or anyone at all for that matter, and I want you ladies to know ? IT'S YOUR BODY. Respect it. And he should respect it even more, because you are giving a part of you to him as a token of your affection. It isn't his right to take what he wants. It's your right to give what you feel he deserves of you.
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Ok, now on to the fun stuff!
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9 times out of 10 it's best to not start out in the doggie style position. Although this is my all time favorite, and I have had successful experiences with anal virgins in this position, it's actually best to start out with either both you and your partner laying on your sides (spoons position) or you lay on your side and the man enters from behind while kneeling behind you.
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If you DO start out in doggie style position, tell him to stand behind you at the edge of the bed (or wherever you're at) and tell him that he must remain still. You sit back on to his cock. This way you are in full control of how much you can take in and at the pace that feels best for you.
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Remember: IT'S YOUR ASS. He must wait while you work back and forth, slowly getting used to it. It may hurt a bit at first, but when you take it at your own pace and control it the way you feel is best, it makes it more enjoyable and relaxing. Another key thing to note about doing this is that it can be very erotic for the guy. Almost like a tease that gets better and better as you work back onto him. I know I certainly enjoy slow entrance.
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Ok, now a note to the guys: THIS ISN'T A VAGINA! You can't just jam it in there and expect to go to town immediately. It may seem like a groovy thing to do in porno fantasyland, but even professional porn chicks stretch and relax the muscles before their sex scenes. Welcome to reality, Beavis. It ain't like the movies. If you want her ass, you'd better give her control. She'll thank you more for it later and you'll continue to get more ass.
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So in other words, ladies: If the guy can't hold his horses and he keeps trying to rush it or jam it in, the anal sex is over. Period. See ya! Bye bye! Go take a cold shower and learn how to control yourself, sparky.
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Now this has very rarely ...