Feb. 24, 2002
WARNING: the following is not a very in
depth or highly detailed entry, but you'll live somehow. I'm too hung over to
jazz it up.
�Well, folks, I just got back from a weekend of hellfire and fun. This
weekend (Saturday) marked the 26th year I was brought into this world via my
mama's crotch. Scary, huh?
�But in celebrating my birthday, one must go beyond a meager gathering
of social friends. There must be BEER, BITCHES, and BINGING FROM HELL!
and before I go on, I must state ...
NO, I DIDN'T GET LAID, YA FUCKIN'
PERVERTS
�Ok, anyway ...
�So I met up with my favorite Satanic prairie nigger (aka -
Rev. Leyba) and his partner in crime, Alena. We sat around at the Casba coffee
house and discussed the merits, pro's, cons, etc of his 'Curse on GW' and the
Satanic sexual documentary me and my friend David are going to do on him ...
involving piss, shit, real blood, anal, oral, cum, and hopefully midgets,
amputees, and transvestites/transexuals. You know ... a family flick.
�After a while we gathered a few more forces from the music
and porno underground, and then set out to fuck some shit up at the Clown Room
(the titty bar that Courtney Love used to strip in). For the rest of the night
Rev Leyba, Alena, myself, and his friend from the underground band The Pissing
Idiots ... he's gunna hate me for forgetting his name ... tore the place a new
asshole.
�First we all drank up a fuckin storm, then we tipped our
asses off, then drank some more. After talking Alena into getting a lap dance
from some stripper chick there, Leyba started in on this one transsexual
stripper. The good Rev. was all into her and they hit it off well. I'm surprised
he didn't take her back to the room and fuck her. The tranny also liked the fact
that I have big, strong hands and (s)he kept commenting on what a large dick I
must have. I just nodded my head, smiled, and kept on drinking.
�A bit later the tranny came out with a whip and one of
those sticks that fire eaters use (it was lit). So she proceeded to strip, whip
the stage, and eat fire. Me and Leyba loved it so much that we had to get a
touch of her torch (no, not THAT one. the one that was in flames). And she
obliged. She lit up leyba's hand, mine, too, and lit one of his dollars that he
was tipping her with. Then she grabbed him, ripped up his shirt, and started
whipping his back. Needless to say, it was a fun site to see.
�After a while me and Alena left to get something to eat
and Leyba and his friend stayed behind to watch more strippers. We were gone for
about an hour or so, trying to find some place open at 10 at night, so we
finally just op'd for some pizza. We ordered, ate, watched tv, and then
eventually started wondering where Leyba and company were. So we headed back
across the street to the bar and there they were, drunker than a wino midget in
a beer keg.
�Well, after a while we dragged them back to the hotel
room, Leyba threatening to jump in the pool from the balcony and trying to kick
our hotel room door in (the room was in my name, so I was gunna be fuckin damned
if he fucked it all up and I had to pay for the shit). We get into the room and
scarf down more pizza. Alena and Leyba crashed out in their bed, I crashed in
mine, and his friend crashed on the couch in the room.
�Shortly after, I was almost asleep when I hear a *bloop
gurgle bloop* sound. And even though the description sounds real fuckin vague,
if you had been in person, you would have known exactly what the sound was. So I
layed there for a second going "oh gawd, I HOPE that sound isn't what I
think it is ..."
*bloop gurgle bloop*
�"Ah fuck ... it is"
�I sit up and turn on the light, and lo and behold, just as
I had suspected ... Leyba's friend was vomiting ... in his sleep. Since he was
sleeping face up with the vomit running down his face, I realized that if I had
left him there, he'd have choked on that shit. Soooooooooooooooo ... Atheist, not
wanting to have a dead rock star on his hands, woke him up and had him go clean
himself up.
�All in all an eventful evening ... booze, bitches, barf
...
�HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
