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Oct. 18, 2002

The top 10 reasons why I prefer the emotional company of animals rather than humans:

1. Animals have never tried to kill me for the clothes on my back or the money in my wallet.
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2. Animals do not pollute my environment to suit their monetary needs.
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3. Animals do not drive around in overly expensive automobiles at outrageous speeds, nor do they flip me off when I don't get out of their way on the freeway.
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4. Animals do not cause mass genocide on other races and creeds.
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5. Animals do not try to push their religious beliefs down my throat.
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6. An animal has never tried to backstab me, make me lose my job, tried to fuck my girlfriend behind my back, or tried to steal things from my house for drug money.
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7. An animal does not care what I look like, how I dress, what I believe in, what I eat, what I drink, what I watch, or who I talk to.
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8. An animal has never performed any type of vivisection for purposes of vanity.
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9. Animals do not discriminate due to race, color, creed, sex, or sexual preference.
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10. No animal has ever told me I was going to hell.

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